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John Terry has announced to the shock and utter amazement of Chelsea fans worldwide that he will end his contract come summer of this year. He will sign for Nigerian side Enyimba FC of Aba in a bid to prove to the Ferdinands and by extension England fans that he is not racist. Before and after each match J.T. will hug all the Enyimba players and kiss them on the face as he really loves the African.

Sepp Blatter has welcomed the move describing the inability of Anton Ferdinand and J.T. to shake hands after the incident as unfortunate. Enyimba fans and followers of the Nigerian Premier League though are optimistic about the chances of seeing former England and Chelsea captain in Enyimba’s blue jersey.

There is a serious jostle as a result of this development by Nigerian companies to become Enyimba’s sponsors. The Nigerian Premier League on the other hand has had their offices inundated with calls from companies in Indonesia and China all seeking to sponsor the league.

England boss, Fabio Capello has described Terry’s decision as the worst news he has ever read in his Football Manager 12 software released by SIGames. He hopes Terry changes his mind. Super Sport and AIT have gone to an Abuja High Court to challenge each other for the right to air the league for its sudden boom.

In a related development, Luis Suarez has promised the Liverpool board that he will shake hands and hug Patrice Evra’s wife if permitted but that shaking hands with Evra amounts to asking for a fresh ban. Suarez hopes his kind gesture will be deeply appreciated by the Liverpool fans but wishes all Manchester United fans a tough time tonight as he hopes to prove once more that he is a bad boy.

Manchester City forward has warned the media and haters to steer clear off him or he will erect a bill board in front of the city of Manchester stadium with the inscription “why always me” written on it. The Citizens’ striker is unhappy at his perpetual presence in the news and has vowed to take an apartment in the tabloids and a guest house with the news stations if the persistent bad press does not increase.

Carlos Tevez has decided to forgive Mancini in the spirit of Valentine. City boss Roberto Mancini who hitherto had said Tevez is finished is relieved at the news and has promised to include Tevez in his plans for City’s next match regardless of his fitness or willingness to warm up.

Lastly, Abrahimovic joined Chelsea players in training today. He told Mike Emenalo that the referee Webb would perform better if only he took a hair transplant. He also suggested that Mr. Webb should visit Emenalo’s country Nigeria where he will find that referees usually auction the matches to the highest bidder but in the end consider the hosts.

Until we meet again next week to discuss the dis-happenings in the ever busy world of sports, I remain yours truly the ever addicted football writer Joshua King urging you to keep laughing as a good exercise.
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