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Abati's Epistle


Special Adviser (Media and Publicity) to President Jonathan Dr. Reuben Abati began an epistle meant to save the president’s dwindling reputation in the face of his numerous woes. But apart from being a well worded piece from a master at the use of words, the write up failed essentially to make a saint of the villain that President Goodluck Jonathan has become to his critics. The former member of the Guardian’s editorial board who was a widely acknowledged critic of the government has since his conversion to the presidential faith, become an unyielding apostle of the virtues of that religion. But unlike Paul, his epistle fails to convert any of the unbelievers to the new religion.

The president argues the epistle is of common descent, educated and likes the company of intelligent men. He does not take alcohol except wine on occasion and exercises very well. He is also a very detribalized and passionate Nigerian who has made the presence of women in his government a commonplace. The president does not deserve all of the accusations coming his way because he is a Saint and all that is remaining is for the Pope to so proclaim it. Soon or later in the future, Dr. Abati will author a book which we will all long to read for it will reveal in detail how the president works very hard at his office and sometimes find the time to log on to his Facebook and Twitter account to tell us his how he is providing through agriculture a breath of fresh air.

Dr. Abati is right everyone, the president has been a victim of his simplicity. His simplicity is what we all term cluelessness. It is his simplicity that makes him unable to learn very quickly the ropes of governance and be moved with conviction to deal decisively with the exploiters of many Nigerians who walk about daily without shoes. It is his simplicity also that makes him unable to give a damn about the expectations of the constitution on asset declaration. Ordinary Nigerians are indeed very thankful for a president who is very quick to project Nigerian culture by his dressing and yet very quick to claim that he can run the country from anywhere in the world in the face of crisis at home.  

Dr. Abati’s epistle is so edifying and inspiring. He took time to describe the Nigerians whom the president represents as ‘they.’ The impersonal pronoun which in most instance refers to an outsider, non part or enemy as the case maybe. Dr. Abati in essence is saying that there are two kinds of Nigerians, those on the president’s side and those: cynics, the pestle-wielding critics, the unrelenting, self-appointed activists, the idle and idling, twittering, collective children of anger, the distracted crowd of Facebook addicts, the BBM-pinging soap opera gossips of Nigeria, who seem to be in competition among themselves to pull down President Goodluck Jonathan. This army of sponsored and self-appointed anarchists is so diverse; many of them don’t even know why or how they should attack the President.

However, one must be careful not to conclude that the epistle is not without substance. Dr. Abati and the president are right in saying that many Nigerians are lending relevance to thoughtless conclusions. Conclusions like, the president is performing incompetently and without conviction on issues most germane to the Nigerian people: security and the economy.  The president is transforming Nigeria and does not need the distraction from these self-appointed activists who are all idle and twittering away on matters that do not concern them: Nigeria.

Mr President, Nigerians are very proud of you for working hard at giving us a breath of fresh air. We do not like those other Nigerians who do nothing but call your busy mind to areas of urgent attention. They should all have their twitter accounts suspended for calling your attention to their problems, the betterment of Nigeria. Do they have a clue themselves? Can they sit at a table that has no ogogoro or eat only fruit and vegetables without decorated turkey? Mr. President and Dr. Abati, ride on, do a good job, make the good Nigerians on your side proud and please silence ‘they’ by performance and not epistles. 

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